Unforeseen Circumstances

As this pandemic/quarantine drags on several habits have changed which have led to many dynamics that used to be everyday routine, suddenly need to adapt. Adaptation is a hard thing to do especially when rooted habits such, as leaving the house in the morning and coming back late, are taken away and time seems to in excess. Our lives were so programmed as if there an OCD mastermind had been tasked to guide us into filling our days with rules and regulations that informed us of what to do from the moment we wake up until we go to bed. That is all suspended now.

As part of these unforeseen circumstances that this entropy has caused there is a familiar/unfamiliar life at home. Our habits of leaving our homes every day to be able to pay them at the end of the month, have been replaced by staying at home and be unsure we will be able to afford it in the near future. In turn, these anxieties create other types of possible chaos, such as communication around couples and or families. In the old world, we had a sort of a schedule for these things that had almost a perfect fit, since they were all inter dependable. We had x amount of time to sit on the couch until it was time to make dinner or send the kids to bed and be able to talk about our day with our partners. Having little time for anything had become a safe environment to keep the structures of everything the way they were without rocking the boat too much. In essence, it made us keep going without thinking too much and questioning more existential issues that might surface when we have more time.

Consequently, we gain time to either reevaluate our lives and relationships and either keep and embrace them or realize we don't want them anymore. One only needs to browse the word divorce and coronavirus and voilà, surprise surprise! The divorce rate has soared and is making headlines everywhere. The reasons behind it aren't hard to grasp and stem from tensions and fears that this whole pandemic has brought up to the forefront of our lives. We are less in control of showing our untamed sides that routine had kept at bay. Our mental health is more prone to make us more defensive in the face of the limitations of confinement and the possibility of contamination by a loved one that may become someone we have to distance ourselves. Disagreements on the measures to be put in place may go overboard and our little fragile egos can get in the way of stability and order in the household.

The same applies to domestic violence. More cases might arise and old cases may continue as victims are forced to live with their predators. Our governments are indeed aware of this and some initiatives have been put in place. However, shame and fear of sharing are still prevalent within the patterns of victimology and many cases will still fly under the radar.

Without going too much into the world of empty idiomatic expressions and cultural sayings that have lost its meaning and seem to be used when arguments fail to their jobs, we have an opportunity here. We can choose to reconnect with our relationships, try to create new rituals with our partners that bring them closer again. Have new conversations, try new intimacies, and for the ones that are lucky enough to have children, perhaps use this time to be more childish as well and play without self-censorship and expectations. Your children will appreciate it and may fuel back some good spirits into our otherwise anxieties. 

Stay safe, but don't be stupid